See Me Hear Me (Open discussions, Bedtime routines)

She is still learning, especially with adults, what was drummed into me as a kid (thankfully) – look people in the eye when you greet them and part ways and in general when conversing.

One of the ways I get this message across is at night at bed time (and when we part at school). She’ll finally be somewhat settled and before I turn off the light I’ll say, “Wait, let me see you.” What it really means is ‘let’s stop for a moment and connect spirit to spirit.’

Tonight, I reached to turn off the light after all the snack, brush, repeating, silliness, firm voice spiel…

Her – “Wait. Don’t you want to see me?”

I smiled.

Me – “Of course.”

Got close to her and looked eye to eye. Have to say I was caught by surprise by the aliveness that shone out. I told her so.

Me – “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

She thought…

Me – “Are you sad about anything?”

Her – “No.”

Me – “Are you mad about anything?”

Her – “Of course!”

I was surprised.

She then hold me about an incident at school which I had been alerted about by one of her teachers where she and a friend got frustrated and kicked each other. We discussed it until she understood better how it must feel for the other child.

I’m glad she asked… “Don’t you want to see me?” That led to “Don’t you want to listen to me?”

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