My girl, as most parents of young children will attest, is the brightest presence of love and joy in my life. She hugs, skips, laughs, exudes happiness and generally is in a good place more than any adult in my life, certainly more than me. I probably learn more from her than she does from me.
Today, we were having an upset, though, as I asked her to come out to help plant the front garden. She was making a mess, planting things I didn’t want to plant, and I was getting impatient as, sadly, I had slipped into adult task mode. Thus, it became a power struggle, which is very unusual for us, as I consciously try to not make her feel managed in our home. I also try, as much as possible, to not take a top-down mentality with her and instead parent mostly from connection and cooperation. But, hey, we have our moments.
Anyway, in the middle of this verbal back and forth out by the garden today, she put up her hand-
Her – “We’re both not right. How we about we change and start over.”
Well, I was impressed by her cutting through the ego talk, but being annoyed and wanting to see if she would capitulate or continue to hold her ground on her higher way…
Me – “I’m right. You can change.”
She came closer
Her – “Nobody is right. The only one who is right is up there.”
She pointed up to the sky.
Now what are you going to say to that?
We adults think we have to get them to come towards our way. We adults are quite often wrong. Maybe we need to cooperate as much with them and their realities and agendas as much if not more than we think they need to cooperate with us and our realities and agendas.
Kahlil Gibran, author of the Prophet, once wrote, “Take me away from the religion that does not bow before children.”