A Bagel with Cream Cheese (Rituals, Bonding, Stability)

Before a parenting time schedule change back in March, I used to take her to a Microsoft Minecraft class with home schooled kids.

I’d pick her up at school about 15 minutes early and drive her over to the mall. Some of her friends who are home schooled were in the class and, together, in a virtual world, they collaborated in creating rich worlds with their imaginations. Afterwards, they would get up and present their worlds to the rest of the kids. I saw it as another excellent way to nurture her intelligence and to bond with her friends through creativity.

After these trips, she would be hungry after the class, so we’d stop at the Starbucks kiosk and each get a bagel. Her choice was multi-grain with cream cheese, mine multi-grain with too much butter.

Yesterday, my friend David, who organizes many events such as these for home schooled kids, sent me a message to ask if we’d like to be included on an alternate day. Not sure if it’s a one time thing or if there will be more, but I said yes.

This time, they collaborated to make a digital resort. It was impressive.

And, afterwards, right on cue, she asked for a snack.

Me – “Let me guess. You want a bagel with cream cheese.”

Her – “Yep!”

So, we said goodbye to our friends, ventured over and got our order. It was just five minutes of munching before we headed out as I had a commitment to tend to, but those five minutes had a special glow about them.


I think it’s because it’s a ritual now. We have more pronounced and elaborate rituals than this one, but it’s still a ritual. The act of doing it brings up all the other times it has been done together and affirms that bond without a word being said.

I’m going to keep looking for opportunities like this to sew rituals into her childhood.

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